Fear and Loathing in Lethbridge

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

"There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak, in the freak kingdom."

"We'd gone in search of the American dream, it had been a lame fuck around. A waste of time. There was no point in looking back. Fuck no, not today, thank you kindly. My heart was filled with joy. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Algier, a man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident."

"How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

"You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands."

"Yeah, I know. I'm guilty. I understand that. I knew it was a crime, and I did it anyways. Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal, look at me."

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

"Everything was automatic. I could sit in the red-leather driver's seat and make every inch of the car jump, by touching the proper buttons. It was a wonderful machine: Ten grand worth of gimmicks and big-priced Special Effects. The rear-windows leaped up with a touch, like frogs in a dynamite pond. The white canvas top ran up and down like a roller-coaster. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights & dials & meters that I would never understand — but there was no doubt in my mind I was in a superior machine."

Random Question? Guess my answer was too long...

"The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:"

Once upon a time there was a frog named Cornelius. Cornelius was bald. He tried Rogain, but it didn't work. He thought about getting hair implants, but he didn't have insurance. So one day Cornelus decided to get himself a wig. But where does a bald frog get a wig? He must go to WHERE THE HUMANS ARE. Following the long rock to lighted mountains, Cornelius risked life and legs. Giant boxes on wheels nearly running him over! Finally Cornelius makes it to the city and hops around the streets. He kept asking everyone "Please, can you help me get some hair?" But nobody listened. At least they tried not to step on him. Just when he thought hope was gone, Cornelius looks up and sees all these little faces. A doll shop! Cornelius sneaks inside, and when the store owner isn't looking, he took his hat off and switched it for the wig on one of the dolls. He made his ESCAPE! and leaped for joy. "I finally have hair!" he squealed! Unfortunately for Cornelius, the store owner had security cameras, and began to chase Cornelius into the traffic! Cornelius began to hop forwards, backwards, left and right to try to get through the cars, he made it across, but then had to cross a river with crocodiles, logs and turtles on it! He almost got all the way across, but then his wig fell into the water. Cornelius went to reach for it, but fell victim to the hungry crocodile. And that, children, is why STEALING IS WRONG.
~Fin~